Domestically Disabled

Wednesday, November 1, 2006



Guess what I did yesterday?

I bought a Swiffer.

Yeah, I know that doesn't sound like much of an achievement but considering I am probably one of the last people on the planet to get one of these things, I felt I outta shout it out from the rooftops of blogcity.

There's a reason too, that I am one of the last people on Earth to get one. I'm really crap at cleaning my apartment.

Of course, I've always been crap at it. My mother doesn't call me Messy Maaria for no reason (I think it's a Finnish cartoon character that's known for being messy...that's the only explanation I can come up with). Now, I try not to be dirty (in the negative aspect) but I do admit I am one messy woman.

And now that I live in a studio apartment, it get's awfully messy, awfully fast. I find myself cleaning everyday now, something I used to roll my eyes at. One minute, the clothes are neatly hung up, the coffee table is wiped clean and the dishes are done. The next minute, my floor looks like someone nuked my wardrobe, I've got popcorn, candle wax and water rings on the table and smelly dishes are piled high in the sink. There is only one person who lives here! How the hell does this happen?

Don't get me wrong. I'm no Monica Geller. I hate, no... I despise, cleaning. But it's either that or live in a clothes and crumb strewn hell-hole. And since it's now my hell-hole, I feel I owe it to myself to take better care of it. But damnit, I'm lazy! How lazy?

I cleaned up after my Halloween party...three days later. Shhhh.

Anyway, the point of all this is that I used to be such a disfunctional, anti-domesticated spirit and now I find myself Swiffering with some emotion that might be described as "glee" (you can't blame me though, Swiffering really is like the ads).

To top it off, the bf came over, dead tired after work. He took a nap while I cooked. I actually cooked a whole meal. Now, granted, it is the only meal I know how to cook, a whole-wheat pasta dish with Vodka sauce, chicken, mushrooms, tomatoes and bacon, but it's still cooking nonetheless.

I served it with champagne and a smile.

And a black miniskirt and long, red wig.


Hey, it was still Halloween, after all.
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