My Secret Shame

Sunday, August 12, 2007


So, there is something about me, actually two things about me, that are actually quite odd. Or, they were quite odd, until last night. Regardless...

I've never been able to whistle or snap my fingers.

OK, on occasion, a whistle has managed to sneak out of my lips, but this is rare and not without a lot of effort on my behalf.

And snap fingers? Forget it.

25 years of not being able to do it. Can you imagine what that's like? I would gawk in awe at people striding at the street whistling and snapping their fingers to some jolly tune. Meanwhile I'm just blowing air and wailing my hands about like an idiot.

I couldn't figure it out but didn't really put much thought into it either. Until I told my boyfriend last night.

"Well, everyone can snap. It would be physically impossible not to."

There's a lot of impossible things about me so I just chalked it up to that. But I still jumped on the net and started searching to see if other freaks like me couldn't snap or whistle either. Meanwhile, the bf was on a mission to discover exactly what it is about snapping your fingers that makes the "snap" sound.

Eventually, I found out that there were some people out there who couldn't do it either, but they too, were labeled freaks of nature. And the Rockstar discovered the possible source of the sound.

He positioned my ring finger so it was resting high on the palm of my hand, near the thumb, confident that the snap was caused by the compressed air of the two other fingers and thumb hitting the third finger (or the palm, whichever).

I raised my hand in the air and...

***SNAP!***

My eyes nearly bulged out of my head. It took me 25 years of calluses and sore fingers and then he just comes along and teaches me in five minutes.

Enamoured and exstatic I started snapping my fingers like crazy (OK, it still only works 10% of the time, but still).

"If only I could learn to whistle now," I cried out, putting my lips into the position. I blew, expecting a pathetic stream of air.

Out came the most perfect whistle you've ever heard (well, to my ears).

So, my secret shame is now defunct. I can snap my fingers AND whistle.

Now I just have to figure out how to curl my tongue, juggle and wiggle my ears...all at the same time. Then I'll REALLY not look like a freak of nature.
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