So, it's Friday. I don't have a job so that doesn't really mean anything to me anymore, except that I get to bitch about what ails me. Of course, I could bitch any day really, it's my blog after all, but after so many fluffy posts about Scotland and Xmas and France and cute boyfriends and compliments and cooking, I think a little change of pace is good.So let's start Random Bitching Friday with the fact that it is Friday and how that once joyous day has no meaning to me now.
It's not that I am not looking for work, I am, but getting frusterated at the lack of writing/PR/Journalism jobs in Vancouver. The problem is that when there is a job I feel capable of doing, they all ask for years of experience. Only, I don't have years of experience, I just "graduated" for fuck's sake, but the three months I did pull as the Head Writer and Editor (an on-camera personality for a bloody video that never freakin' aired) for the horrible IFA, did provide me with as much experience as working somewhere for a year or two. I was thrown into it, I floundered for a bit but I rose above it and came out with a whole load of new and saleable knowledge.
Of course, I very well know that I might not even get a job related to my field, which pisses the fuck out of me because then what was the bloody point of going to journalism school if I can't use it? Regardless of that though, what I really want, even if it has nothing to do with journalism or writing, is to at least like my job. Now, when I was video game testing at EA (which was as unrelated to journalism as I could get), I was bored half the time (OK, all the time) and I barely made enough to support myself. But I did not mind coming to work and I never took my work home with me. If only I could find a job like that but with writing. But I guess that's asking for a bit too much. Only a few lucky fucks get a job they like right off the bat and in a field related to what they went to school for. Do I expect to get a job writing about traveling to different countries and making enough to support myself? No. I've been told by some that that is reaching too high.
Funny thing was, when I did apply for a job that was "beneath" me, they didn't hire me because they said I was aiming too low! So what does this prove? Don't listen to people? After all if I'm always reaching too high or too low, how am I supposed to know what's in the middle?
And what if I don't want to be in the middle? Ahhh, then come the "you have to start somewheres," "everyone has to pay their dues" and the "you'll work your way ups" and the "don't expect so muchs" and the "you never know where it might leads" and of course the classic"a little hard work never killed anyone." See, when people tell me this, I get the feeling that they aren't exactly listening to what I am saying. And what kind of encouragement is that?
Do I expect to get my dream job? Fuck NO. Though, I only say that emphatically because some people have told me not to expect it and to "settle" for something a lot less.
Ahhh, so that's that bitch of the day. Thanks for standing by.
Oh wait. I'm not done yet.
Has anyone been getting calls from this number: 1-877-289-5108?
Because I have. A LOT. They never leave a message, and I never pick up because it's too pricey to answer my mobile before six PM. But finally, after getting the 10th call this week from this number I decided to look them up. Turns out I'm not alone:
There is a local forum devoted to this number, as well as a blog.
Who the fuck are these people and why don't they leave me the fuck alone? Arg, there is nothing more annoying than the sound of a ringing phone. Thankfully I have never answered (and now never will) so they don't actually know if the line is active or not. But SHEEESH, you think they would have gotten a hint by now.
***
There is one note of positivity here...I swear I'm not in THAT much of a foul, brooding, bitter, angry mood.
Last night I met up with Jen(Expat Traveler), which was awesome since I had never met any fellow bloggers before. Seriously, I think blogging has become the new way of networking.
She had told me about this presentation by Fiona Scott, called Babe in a Backpack, which was going down at the SFU Harbour Centre downtown.
The presentation was about Fiona and her slideshows as she visited 24 countries around the world.
Fiona was very entertaining and outgoing and made a great host. In her early 30's, her trip was the first real traveling she had ever done and went at it alone (bit of a late starter but she made it work for her).
Now the event would have been great for people who had never traveled before (and I had a feeling that since the majority of the audience were past middle age, they weren't exactly taking heed of her solo trekking adventures), but to Jen and I it was kind of redundant.
After all, Jen had lived in Switzerland for many years and being from California, is an expat herself in Vancouver. I've also lived abroad and traveled solo as a backpacker. So the tips on where to stay (hostels, duh), how to get around and why not to be afraid going solo were all kind of lost on us. We knew all this already.
If anything, the presentation was a bit of a kick in the pants that I needed to actually do something with myself...and hence my brooding, bitter mood.
See, Fiona is now writing a book called "The Backpacking Bible for Babes" which should be coming out later this year. Some of you may remember that I actually was researching the market to put out a similar book, a year or two ago. Of course, it never came to anything because I soon lost interest.
Also, Fiona, via blogging about her travels, discovered she has a knack and talent for writing and now is a writer for Outpost, as well as various other magazines, newspapers and websites.
I have a million travel tales to share, but am I doing any of this? No.
Thanks to my brilliant self-doubt and succinct procrastination I am not doing any of the things I should be doing, things I want to be doing. I am, without a doubt, the only cause of my profound unhappiness (about my "career" of course, everything else in my life is fine).
Now before any of you people point this out, yes I am bitter and yes I am jealous. I don't think it has anything to do with thinking I don't have talent, because I apparently do, but with sheer drive and determination. This is a woman who knew what she wanted, went out and got it. She actively pursued the sponsors to put on her event (one of several), joined the writing center at SFU to help with her book and basically went out and marketed the crap out of herself.
Now, why can't I do that?
The most positive thing about the night though (aside from finally meeting Jen) was the gift bag. It had my name on it:
Unfortunately it also contained a huge GAP Adventures guide which has only filled me with more wanderlust and itchy feet frustration.
Sigh. It's gonna be one of those days.
