Remember, way back in the day, when the word "Slut" used to be a bad thing? When calling a woman "Easy," "Slutty" or "The Town Bicycle" would add up to a justifiable slap in the face?Well, I can't help but think this just isn't true anymore.
When did women whose bed posts are covered in many notches, become revered, or admired, or even...cool?
And when did women start feeling ashamed for not having that many sexual partners?
This is a bit of a dicey topic, (especially for someone like me, who does not have the comfort of annonymity) to blog about. But it's something I think about often, especially on the Blogsphere, where so many a blog are devoted to sexual escapades with random people, and how these people are applauded for their racy way of life.
The problem is not that these women (I'm not going to comment on men, because I haven't found guys to be more or less sexually picky as before) are loving sex, getting it wherever they can. Whatever works for them, whatever floats their boat, whatever makes them happy is great. Good for them. Girl Power, the Feminist Movement and all that shit.
No, the problem I find with the fact that being a slut is now something you should achieve to be, is that the social stigma that was once associated with it has now been transported on to the girls who don't have casual sex, the girls who can count the men they've fucked on one hand and the girls that believe love and sex go together. I'm not saying I am one of these girls (though I am two out of the three). In other words, the "prudes" are the ones who are looked down upon.
It something that should just be in high school (where I was in fact called a lesbian by my "good" girlfriends because I only had sex with my boyfriends and not random guys) but has now spread into societal norm. Gone are the days where women were once praised for being selective, picky, chaste, or even, gasp, a virgin. Now, it seems to me, that both men and women are judgemental of the women out there who don't subscribe to the whole "Cooler Than Thou Sex Kitten" point of view.
I know I've had both men and women (my friends too) who give me a look of pity when I tell them that my number of partners isn't in the double digits. They think I am missing out on life, that I am naive, innocent and ignorant. But let's take a woman who has only slept with one man but has had sex every single day, for the last 5 years. Does that make her a prude or "sexually deficient" when compared to a woman who has slept with 20 men, all of them one night stands?
When has being selective about our sexual partners become a gauge of how sexual we are?
It's even gone so far, as that I feel like a freak of nature for my choosen status. I even envy all the women out there who can have casual sex with whomever they want, whenever they want because, in a way, it's a form of power that I just can not possess. When your boyfriend* has slept with a ton of more people than you, you feel terribly un-powerful, disposable and un-special. If I slept with a lot more men, it would level the playing field. But I know that I just couldn't do that, and if I did, it would go horribly wrong. I would probably get screwed over (pardon the pun) or a disease or end up with a stalker or just get attached to a guy when really my point would have been to just have sex without attachment.
Maybe it's just that Sexually Empowered (to be PC) women are now considered the "coolest" women in society, and boy do they know it too.
And I, little ol' me, am someone who will never be "cool."
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