Where am I? What's going on?

An hour or so ago, I was wandering around downtown Vancouver in a daze. I slowly schleped down West Georgia street, not knowing really where I was or what I was doing. I ended up at a Starbucks and proceeded to have great difficulty ordering an iced coffee...words were coming out of my mouth but they weren't making much sense. The Barista noticed my camo ballcap with the words Cardio Core Bootcamp on it and forgave me for being a fuckwit.

This is what I will have to look forward to for the next month. This is me after Bootcamp.

At any rate, I did survive it, which is a lot more than I had hoped for.

The "camp" was held indoors at Fitness World (in summer, it's held in Stanley Park), in one of the aerobics rooms. There was about 30 or so people there, mainly female with a few men scattered about.

I was relieved to see most of the women were slightly overweight just like me, so I didn't feel too self-conscious.

*start rant* That was until I noticed a few thin women...one, especially, was perky, fit, tanned and blonde.

"What the hell are you doing here you skinny Lululemon beyatch?!" I yelled at her. "Trying to upstage us all, or what?"

OK, so I yelled it at her in my head, but the point is: if you are already fit and toned, why are you here? Just go to the gym like everyone else does, don't join a bootcamp for fatties and then proceed to rock the push-up test harder than everyone else...and longer than the instructor did it for. In fact, it prompted our instructor to make a remark about the program not being a competition.

I can tell Miss Fit is going to be on my nerves for the next few weeks.

*end rant*

That was just one rant and I have many more so I think I'll just call the whole rest of this post one long rant. Keep in mind my writing skills at this moment are quite nonexistant, I think I recieved a lobotomy while I was there.

Anyhoo, the hour consisted of non-stop excercise led by our leader. She wasn't the one to yell in your face, instead she was full of boundless optimism and energy...which somehow made me prefer the "spit in face" method. At any rate, she kept us going. And going. And going. Non-stop. For one full, nauseous hour.

After the ten minute "warm-up," which consisted of 30 people running with their knees high in a circle, I was ready to throw in the towel. At least, I would have if the program was up to me. But it wasn't and we were pushed to go on and on. This was not even our cardio day so it was all about the weight training. I used to like weight training. I always thought it was the "easy" part.

Nuh-uh.

The weight training was more like circuit training, with different groups of us rotating between the ball, the steps and the bands, working on our muscle groups with cardio in between. This ensured we wouldn't get bored.

I was too busy dying to care if I was bored or not.

Literally, I felt like I was going to puke during my push-up test.

Also felt like puking when I started using the stretchy bands to work my arms and the band slipped off my foot.

Hit me right in the face.

Ever had someone snap an elastic band on your arm? Well, enlarge that band by 100 and apply it to your face.

And then I really felt like puking when they took me aside for measurements.

Oh dear.

My weight is one thing, but the width of my thigh? The horror. I'm even wearing the wrong bra size - I'm MUCH larger than I thought...which reminds me, a sports bra would probably be in good order too. I don't want to have to worry about elastic bands AND boobs snapping in my face.

A good note though, was that they didn't weigh us. It's obviously more about losing inches than pounds, which is great because that's what really counts. And speaking of my weight and inches: if it's a notable difference (and I don't know how it won't be if I'm going to be burning my lungs and buns off 3 times a week) I'll be sure to let you know at the end. Finger's crossed!

So, to sum up my first day at Bootcamp: I survived. It was tough. It was scary (especially when you have to run around with all these mirrors around you). It was challenging (tripped over my own feet while trying to keep up with a certain excercise...it's times like this that being naturally clumsy is NOT endearing). It was...not fun. But I don't regret starting it and I'm excited to see how far I will come. After all, the first class is down. It can only get easier from here on in.

Though ask me how I am doing tomorrow and it might be a different story - one filled with many explicit words.

***
In other news, I am going to the Police in May. Woot! And I have an extra, single ticket if anyone should be so interested to be doing a doo doo doo and a da da da.

Shedding the Winter Skin

Unfortunately, I do not wear pantyhose (except on special occasions) so I can not use that as an excuse.

Tomorrow I embark on my one-month venture into achieving a new body and spirit.

Yup, I start my cardio-core bootcamp. I've already got an email from them - full of encouraging words such "gonna make you sweat" and "push it till you drop" - hmmmm. At least I hope it was from the program and not some porno spam.

Anyway, they also noted that I would be weighed and measured (EEEEEK!) and would have to push-up test(OH), sit-up test (MY) and do a timed run (FUCK!). Yes, so I am not looking forward to that. I have an idea of what I weigh and I only have about 8 pounds to drop so it's not like that part will be too embarassing (but choosing whether I should share that weight with you...erm, we'll see) but I can tell them right now that push-ups are non-existent.

At least I think they are.

Hold on, I'm gonna drop to the floor and try it out.

Yes, so push-ups are nonexistent. As are sit-ups (do crunches count?). And as for the timed run...I'm gonna see if I can skip that humiliation that harks back to Gym Class and just say "What would the slowest time be? A 60-minute mile? OK, let's say I do that."

In the end though I am really looking forward to it. I haven't been so down about my weight lately, except the other night when trying on clothes to go out but anyway, and it's because I know the wheels are in motion. Things will get done, I will lose weight, inches and feel strong and disciplined.

I even signed up to do a Cardio Salsa class at the local rec centre, however the teacher never showed up when I went there the other day. I was even motivated to get my groove on (despite an ever-so-slight hangover).

Surprisingly, I wasn't too upset. Though I had walked through the rain to get there, I was in a chipper mood. I started applying the whole "new perspective" thing to what I saw. And what did I notice by looking about instead of having my eyes on the ground:

*I saw this dog-walking lady that I have seen a few times before. She's fairly old but walks four GIANT beige dogs that pull her off in all directions. Just seeing them come down the street, everyone has to cross to the other side.

*There is one street nearby that is filled with heritage houses, newly painted and restored with bright red finishes and yellow trim. Walking down it makes you feel like you are in a verdant English town, not the middle of a crazy city.

*One street had a colorful tile mosaic embossed onto the corner, right into the cement. It was like permanant street art.

*Winter is officially out. Though the nights can still be cold and the rain is miserable at times, everything is green. Grey sky but green ground, green trees, green plants. There is a freshness to the sea-breeze and tulips have started to come up in some gardens. Cherry Blossoms have appeared on a few lucky trees and birdsong is more pronounced than usual.

*Starbucks is having "Coffee Fest" at the Sheraton Hotel on Thursday. Heck, I don't have anywhere to be, I might as well check it out.

And last but not least, this whole perspective thing has made me want to branch out more into various facets of my potential future. My mum just arrived back from Mexico the other day(she's been gone for 5 months...5 months on a boat, can you imagine that?) Anyhoo, she suggested that why not try out on-camera journalism and broadcasting.

Education does sound appealing, especially as it puts off the whole "getting a real life" thing but I didn't want to go through that all again and be commited to something for two years. However, they do have a part-time course, one day a week for 12 weeks, that deals with on-camera interviewing and skills. You get practical experience too which is what we seriously lacked at my old SHIT-HOLE of a "University." So, come April 16th, I'll be adding a little more experience to repetoire.

Maybe I'll branch out even further, starting looking into getting more specialized...there is an Intermediate Wine Certification course I have my eye on. I don't know what that would get me, but wine is something that seriously interests me (and no, not just to drink...though it helps).

I like this positivity thing. It feels like the possibilities are endless...in a good way, for once.