I went out on Easter Monday to run a few errands. It was my first "outing" being back in my old neighbourhood and for the occasion, I decided to step out of the pajama pants and leggings that I have been wearing for the last 9 months and actually put an outfit together.
It took some getting used to - my closet is pared down and I still don't know where half of my things are (even though I gave 60 lbs of clothes to the SPCA and sold like over $1000 worth of my stuff on Ebay I STILL have to keep a ton of clothes in storage).
But with some trial and error I put together something that was good enough and out the door I went.
I noticed a lot of looks though. I often get looks and in my head these are always "strange" looks and I always assume that people are making fun of me "what is she wearing?" "Look she's fat" "She walks funny" etc.
And today was no exception. As usual I avoided eye contact with the people who were staring and just went about my business with a stern look on my face. That's pretty much how I always look.
That was until I noticed a woman hovering around the end of the check-out counter in Safeway. I was struggling with really heavy grocery bags when the elderly lady stopped me. At first I thought she was going to ask me to help her, which was funny cuz I could have used help myself.
But instead she said, "You know I've been watching you and I must say you look absolutely wonderful. What an outfit! I rarely see young people look so pulled together these days and I just had to tell you that you look really great."
I was floored. I made a remark how I'm normally in pajama pants but instead of writing off the compliment, I just accepted it and thanked her profusely.
So, I didn't get dressed today thinking I had a nice outfit going on and I wasn't going to do an outfit post, but since that comment, I decided what the hell, why not!
Tunic/babydoll top (tucked it) + Jacket + Bag: Forever 21; Belt: New Zealand market; Jersey skirt (it's above the knee but looks longer from the photo angles) + Earrings: ASOS; Boots: Jeffrey Campbell
Notice how my earrings compliment the top? Totally unintentional. The feather symmetry must have been completely unconscious....weird how that happens sometimes?
Speaking of those earrings, I thought I had lost them for the last year...I could only find one of them which was a real shame because I never got a chance to wear them once I bought them.
Lo and behold, I'm moving my stuff back into my place and at the bottom of one of my old drawers, there's the other earring! It's been in my apartment the entire time the tenants were in there.
Speaking of tenants and leaving things as they were, we found our favourite foods stocked in the fridge. We thought maybe the tenants bought it for us when they moved out but NOPE. It was actually MY food that I had left in the fridge for THEM when they moved in last July! EWWWWW! WTF?
***
Sigh. Money.
When you don't have it, it can slay you.
I used to just spend more or less whatever, not keeping a savings account when I should have (cuz you never know when you'll lose your job), using up my credit card without thinking how it will bite me in the ass one day. But now, I feel forever changed. My relationship with money has changed.
No, I was never rich. I shopped sales (mostly) and I never spent over $500 for anything (only once...and that was a mistake!), nor did I just buy without thinking. It was excessive though (in my opinion now) and frankly, nowadays the idea of spending even $200-$300 seems a bit crazy (and I know to some of you money-conscious people, that might have always seemed crazy).
And, this is kind of embarrassing, but I'm kinda angry. Angry that I can't just buy whatever I want all the time and that so many people seem to be able to. Most of all, I am angry that I had such a poor relationship with money to begin with. That cheeses me off the most.
But I don't want to go back to the way things were. I know how buying the "latest" expensive shoes is not the answer to happiness (it is fun though). I know how you don't need everything new and all the time. By all means, everyone should be able to treat themselves. But what are you treating yourselves for? What did I do for all my stuff? Did I deserve new clothes every week? Did I NEED new clothes every week. DOES ANYONE? Not really.
If I could go back to 6 months ago, when I had money to burn, I wouldn't be burning it. I would be saving it for a rainy day, paying down my cards and so then, when I would buy myself something, it would mean something...and I'd be able to afford it. If I did that then, things would be easier now.
But there is always a lesson to learn and never too late to learn it. I just have to - quite frankly - suck it up.
SO - for you practical and forward-thinking fashionistas (or anyone), what is your relationship with money like? Do you save for items? Use your credit card and worry about it later? Shop only sales, outlets, Ebay or thrift stores? Or does your job/sugar daddy/blogging perks let you just buy whatever you want? :P Let me know in the comments below (anonymously, if you'd like).
Also, any tips you have for saving money is appreciated :)
I've asked this question before but there weren't many honest answers (though someone did admit their parents bought them everything...take it from me, that will bite you in the ass down the line, lol).
Even though I'm the older one, you somehow manage to keep me grounded and loved x0x0
