Last week I lamented that I was totally uninspired with my clothes and resorting to the easy wardrobe of pants + top for a bit. I didn't get many suggestions as to what I should wear, but MizzJ did point out that I am very boho and should maybe try the Blair Waldorf look.
I have been very boho lately but I think that's more because A) my hair is made for boho and B) it's summer and well...it's summer!
Anyway, throughout the winter I wore a lot of pencil skirts as I figure my figure is better suited for that than anything else. But I haven't worn anything like that for a few months now. Of course, the pencil skirt look isn't very summery or bohemian but it's still a look I like to have when I'm feeling saucy. The problem with it being warm now outside, is that I can't wear tights with the skirt.
And the concept of wearing a skirt with bare legs terrifies me.
You see, when I wear dresses I can put on funky gladiator sandals or tie up espadrilles and everything is OK. But with pencil skirts, you kinda have to wear heels (boots work too). I wore flats once with the skirt and I just looked kinda stumpy and dowdy. It didn't work.
The problem, as some of you might figure out, is the scarring/messed up look of my feet/ankles. Yes, whaaa whaaa whine about it some more. But I have been very good lately about trying to not give a fuck what people think about me and just have them exposed. Wearing pants all summer long because I am afraid what people think is just ridiculous and though the fear is there, damnit I want to wear dresses!
Anyhoo, gladiator sandals, tie-up espadrilles and cuffed shoes all offer some sort of protection and a way of hiding my disability. Even if it's just a single string around my ankle, I just feel better about myself. But to wear pumps - without embellishment - to WORK, was just too much.
Or was it? I just said screw it and went for it. I'm sure you all think it's no big deal but that's because you haven't been in my "shoes" - I'm sure it's easy for all of us to say the girl with the giant birthmark on her face has nothing to worry about, but I assure you she does. But only if she lets it.
So to make a very long, tedious (sorry!) story short, I slipped on my favourite pumps and strode out the door that morning feel half-confident (I felt very sexy-secretary and grown-up, which is ridiculous because I'm 27!) and also half-petrified. What would people at work say? What would they think?
I knew they already knew something was up with me - my ankles jut out (from being broken and basically put back on) and that shows even with tights. But they never had a real good look at what was wrong with me. Well, now I would give them that.
And I did. When I was at the coffee machine trying to fill up my mug, I turned around and saw two co-workers just staring at my ankles, puzzled. They looked sheepish when they saw me staring but I just smiled and laughed (as I actually was having problems with the coffee machine) - if I treated it like it was no big deal to have these feet, then they would see it was no big deal to stare.
It's still tough. People will stare at me, like they have my whole life, and I just have to ignore it. Sometimes it makes me sick. I wish they were thinking something good though like "she's well put together" and not "She looks good...oh wait. Something wrong with her feet. Scratch that."
At least now I know I've done it, I took the first step, and now I can go bare ankled to work anyday, just as long as I ready myself for the outcome. That's a first for me and I'm somewhat proud of myself.
Well, thanks for sticking around for my mediocre diatribe. You are rewarded with mediocre pictures!
Leather jacket: Piazza Sempione; Leopard print pencil skirt: Forever 21; Tuxedo shirt: Guess (from swap); Tank: Forever 21; Earrings (one gold guitar pic and one silver guitar: ASOS; Stud bracelet: Forever 21; Alice in Wonderland lithograph necklace: Paraphernalia; Metallic patent Mary-Janes: Vic Matie from YOOX
OH - I'm having a Forever 21 dress giveaway coming soon here. Very excited!
