I am not sure if you all had read my last blog post or not, but basically I talked about how I was born with the physical birth defect of having club feet. The way my feet are and look have been a cross to bear my whole entire life and it is only now that I am coming to terms with it.
Which is why I thought "Kiki"s comment on my last post was a bit...callous:
"To be honest, everything you have mentioned here cannot be classified as 'flaws;' but rather display a much greater flaw: Vanity"
I am actually amazed that someone would take my honest and heartfelt post about a BIRTH DEFECT and try and turn it against me. To try and make me feel even worse about myself and point out the fact that I have GREATER flaws than my feet. What's next? Making fun of the mentally disabled for worrying that they aren't smart enough?
Notice I said TRY, though.
Because a careless remark like that does not shed anymore light on me than it does on the person that left it.
Am I vain? FUCK YES I AM!
But I am vain for many different reasons and NOT my feet. Vanity to me implies worry about something that doesn't always need worry. Believe me, I worry about many a thing that probably doesn't deserve it.
For example, a person who thinks her profile is ugly and is always inspecting it in passing reflections may be considered vain. Is she wrong? A bad person? No, not at all, because we are ALL vain at heart. But her profile probably doesn't affect her daily life. It probably doesn't physically stop her from doing things, doesn't cause people to stare and hasn't caused her grief her whole life (btw I think my profile is awesome...though I'm sure that's vain too).
Now lets say this girl was born with an abnormaly large nose...a profile that would make people stop and stare, or perhaps she doesn't even have a nose.
Now she has a valid reason to be worried, to be "vain" if you will. But suddenly, THAT has become her biggest flaw?
The fact that I have had peers be so cruel to me over the grotesque appearance of my feet that I have had to switch schools? The fact that various gym teachers have tried to humiliate me over the fact that I can't do certain sports, that I run a certain way? Until you have been in my supportive shoes, you can't possibly begin to understand where my "vanity" comes from.
I could go on and on, but the point of my post is that I have finally accepted the state of my feet, and by doing that, the state of myself.
The "vanity" that may seem to come with it is worth it and I will never view it as a flaw. I have 26 years behind me of caring how I measure up to others, but I am done now. Your comment, Kiki, whether you meant it as inconsiderate as it sounds or were going for something different (and obviously missed the mark with me) is no different from the comments I recieved from heartless 13-year old brats who made fun of my disability, and I am proud to say I am done caring about what anyone else thinks about my so-called "flaws."
PS - Now since the comment was left following other comments that were supportive and happy for my coming-to-terms with my problem, I have taken the comment to be condescending and patronizing. I really don't see how I can take it any other way. I'm not usually one to get defensive but when it comes to something dear to me, and this is about as close as it gets, then I'm gonna stand-up for myself. I don't care who you are.
