Only in my dreams...

Thursday, November 29, 2007


Things with the Rockstar can't get any better. For the 6 months that I have known him, and the 5 that we have been together, I am absolutely floored at how well things are going. Sure, there is the occasional problem but when I tell people what our "problem" is, they reply with "If that's your only "problem," consider yourself lucky."

In fact, just last night I was talking about something in particular with a good friend (and his ex) and she couldn't help but blurt out, "Yeah boo hoo, that must put a damper on your totally perfect relationship."

Our relationship is not perfect (and that's 80% due to me being nuts) but my boyfriend IS perfect. At least, he is perfect for me and that's probably why we fall more and more in love with each other each day. He is the first boyfriend that I have trusted 100% with all my heart. This is the easiest relationship ever, for both of us, and we both tell each other every day how lucky we are to have found each other.

Awwwww.

Right, so here is something interesting and I can't help but wonder if this has happened to anyone else...

I always have very vivid dreams and I remember them quite well. Well, in my dreams my boyfriend is ALWAYS a COMPLETE ASSHOLE!

Without fail, everytime the Rockstar is in my dream he is the world's biggest jerk. He is constantly dumping me, breaking my heart, proposing to mutual friend's of ours, being an A-hole to me, saying mean things, cheating, being disrespectful and more.

And everytime I wake up I feel devestated. The pain (and anger) I feel in my dreams is SO real that I often awake with a clenched jaw and fists. And then it takes me quite awhile for these feelings to wear off. I'll start my morning being completely pissed off at him because of something he did in my dream. I mean, I know it's not at all his fault that dream boyfriend is a complete bastard but I still can't help but feel what I felt in those dreams.

Luckily my boyfriend knows about dream boyfriend and is extra extra sweet on those days when I have trouble telling reality from dreamland. And it is such a wonderful feeling when I finally realize that my Rockstar is the complete opposite from dream version. I once again, thank my lucky stars for him.

But I have to know....why is dream boyfriend such an ass? Because things are going so well, so smoothly, am I subconciously afraid that he is going to dump me out of nowhere like my ex did or turn into an asshole while he's fooled me with his perfect boyfriend exterior? I have no idea...

Funnily enough, my best friend Kelly is ALWAYS a bitch in my dreams too. But apparently she says that whenever ANYONE dreams about her, they always say she's always a bitch. Dream bitch Kelly, we call her.

I'm just waiting for the night when Dream bitch Kelly and Dream Jerk Boyfriend both gang up on me. Hopefully though I'll have my trusty lightsaber and pet Velociraptor, so I'll be able to defend myself, with the help of Jimmy Smits and Cameron Diaz....
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