Seems like everywhere you turn these days, it’s all about polygamy. But like skinny jeans, this new trend doesn't suit everyone. In fact, it seems like a lot of women are trying it on for size, just because it's in, without having any regard to whether this is something that truly flatters them.
Suddenly, being monogamous is seen as “old-fashioned,” “boring” and “stifling.” Open marriages on the rise (though divorce rates are very high but nevermind that) and women are refusing to feel guilty for settling down with one man. Even cheating seems to have become commonplace and heralded among women of all ages. The cheating gap between men and women has shortened, as has the average number of partners (14 for men, 11 for women).
Why is this? I have a few ideas…but let’s take a look at these reasons from these telling quotes of today's rising stars and see what we can come up….
"Sex And The City changed everything for me because those girls would just sleep with so many people. And that's me. I'm not dating just one person. It is the variety of partners everyone likes, especially at my age. I'm like Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't need a steady relationship. I mean if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere. Anyway, I don't even think I have had my best kiss yet. My mom's going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people!" – Lindsay Lohan
What dear messed up 20-year old Lindsay fails to grasp is that yes, Angelina has taken on lovers…but in an interview she has stated that as sexual as she is, she has only slept with 5 people and all have been monogamous.
So I have to wonder, is Lindsay trying to seem “cool” by being anti-monogamous? Are most women who say they don’t believe in monogamy saying it because they actually believe it, or saying it because it’s “trendy?”
Does Lindsay believe that saying no to commitment and sleeping around makes her seem more sexual (like she believe Angelina is),or more tough as balls (again, like Angelina)?
Perhaps…though quite frankly, your number has nothing to do with how sexual you are. More variety perhaps, but people who are more choosey aren’t any less sexual.
So maybe it’s about being seen as a “tough, strong” chick?
To me, this is a bit more understandable. After all, one of the so-called weaknesses of being a woman is the fact that it’s hard for us not to become emotionally involved. So it would seem that a woman who can have sex without strings and regrets would be seen as someone who is “emotionally stronger” than most.
Or is it a case of “Well, the man is going to cheat on me anyway, might as well beat him to it?”
I’ve been there, I’ve been cheated on and I know that feeling of foolishness that comes with it. You wonder how could you have been so stupid and you feel like such an ass that he thought he was getting away with it all that time. When you enter the dating world again, there is a huge hate for mankind and a surge of not wanting to appear the fool. You figure “Better beat him to it.”
Of course, the downside to that is not only are you pimping yourself for revenge and spite but you might be cheating on a wonderful guy who may not have any intentions of cheating on you. Believe me, these monogamous and faithful men are out there.
Then there is the second quote of the day:
"If for some reason, that's what he has to go do, I just don't want to know. As long as things are good in our house, just please, don't get caught." - Kate Hudson when asked how she would feel is her husband cheated on her. "Monogamy isn't realistic."
Normally this would seem like Kate is just accepting it as part of her free spirit persona...and yes, since we know she cheated on her husband with Owen Wilson, I reckon she would probably turn a blind eye. But even if Kate wasn't the smiley wild child, would being ignorant of marital infidelity be OK? Aren't there women out there who think they deserve more than to be cheated on...or are they just too busy playing the field themselves?
On to our third celebrity comment:
“Monogamy is an overrated virtue, because, let's face it, we're fucking animals." – Sienna Miller.
OK, I have to take this with a grain of salt because isn’t Sienna the one who was literally screwed over when Jude Law cheated on her with the fugly nanny? Isn’t she kind of giving in to the whole incident by suddenly saying, “nah, what Jude did was totally understandable.” Does she think that by saying this, she’s not coming across like the victim? Because it seems a bit like she’s saving face by pretending that what Jude did to her was OK.
Otherwise, lets look at her pont of view. It is valid. My religious beliefs have me believe that we are meant to be with just one person at a time…but putting that aside (and well polygamy is splashed all over the Bible) we are animals. That said, it is our humanity that reaches above being just an animal. We have morals and beliefs and self-control, while animals do not.
We also feel love and attachment, and yes, jealousy. I don’t believe polygamy can work unless there is an absence of these things.
Like everything, monogamy is a personal choice. If people truly can appreciate variety by having many partners and are able to emotionally detach from the situation, then all the power to them.
As for an overrated virtue, I completely disagree…if anything being monogamous has become an underrated virtue, especially with this trend for polygamy on the rise.
Other than that, I hope “we are fucking animals” wasn’t mean to be taking literally…strange stuff goes on in them Hollywood Hills.
Finally we have our fourth quote:
"I wouldn't say I'm a serial monogamist, either. I mean, I went through periods of time when I was, ah, single. But when I'm in a relationship, I'm in a relationship. I do think on some basic level we are animals, and by instinct we kind of breed accordingly. But as much as I believe that, I work really hard when I'm in a relationship to make it work in a monogamous way." - Scarlett Johansson.
I think good ol' Scarl has summed up what a lot of women think. Sometimes it can be hard to ignore the adage "Variety is the spice of life" but when it comes down to it monogamy is more than possible for anyone who wants it.
While polygamy may be the new phase of "sexual empowerment" I think a lot of people who have jumped on this bandwagon have to ask themselves if it's a look they are truly comfortable with or are they wearing it just for the sake of fitting in.
So…why are you - or aren't you - monogamous?
Suddenly, being monogamous is seen as “old-fashioned,” “boring” and “stifling.” Open marriages on the rise (though divorce rates are very high but nevermind that) and women are refusing to feel guilty for settling down with one man. Even cheating seems to have become commonplace and heralded among women of all ages. The cheating gap between men and women has shortened, as has the average number of partners (14 for men, 11 for women).
Why is this? I have a few ideas…but let’s take a look at these reasons from these telling quotes of today's rising stars and see what we can come up….
"Sex And The City changed everything for me because those girls would just sleep with so many people. And that's me. I'm not dating just one person. It is the variety of partners everyone likes, especially at my age. I'm like Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't need a steady relationship. I mean if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere. Anyway, I don't even think I have had my best kiss yet. My mom's going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people!" – Lindsay Lohan
What dear messed up 20-year old Lindsay fails to grasp is that yes, Angelina has taken on lovers…but in an interview she has stated that as sexual as she is, she has only slept with 5 people and all have been monogamous.
So I have to wonder, is Lindsay trying to seem “cool” by being anti-monogamous? Are most women who say they don’t believe in monogamy saying it because they actually believe it, or saying it because it’s “trendy?”
Does Lindsay believe that saying no to commitment and sleeping around makes her seem more sexual (like she believe Angelina is),or more tough as balls (again, like Angelina)?
Perhaps…though quite frankly, your number has nothing to do with how sexual you are. More variety perhaps, but people who are more choosey aren’t any less sexual.
So maybe it’s about being seen as a “tough, strong” chick?
To me, this is a bit more understandable. After all, one of the so-called weaknesses of being a woman is the fact that it’s hard for us not to become emotionally involved. So it would seem that a woman who can have sex without strings and regrets would be seen as someone who is “emotionally stronger” than most.
Or is it a case of “Well, the man is going to cheat on me anyway, might as well beat him to it?”
I’ve been there, I’ve been cheated on and I know that feeling of foolishness that comes with it. You wonder how could you have been so stupid and you feel like such an ass that he thought he was getting away with it all that time. When you enter the dating world again, there is a huge hate for mankind and a surge of not wanting to appear the fool. You figure “Better beat him to it.”
Of course, the downside to that is not only are you pimping yourself for revenge and spite but you might be cheating on a wonderful guy who may not have any intentions of cheating on you. Believe me, these monogamous and faithful men are out there.
Then there is the second quote of the day:
"If for some reason, that's what he has to go do, I just don't want to know. As long as things are good in our house, just please, don't get caught." - Kate Hudson when asked how she would feel is her husband cheated on her. "Monogamy isn't realistic."
Normally this would seem like Kate is just accepting it as part of her free spirit persona...and yes, since we know she cheated on her husband with Owen Wilson, I reckon she would probably turn a blind eye. But even if Kate wasn't the smiley wild child, would being ignorant of marital infidelity be OK? Aren't there women out there who think they deserve more than to be cheated on...or are they just too busy playing the field themselves?
On to our third celebrity comment:
“Monogamy is an overrated virtue, because, let's face it, we're fucking animals." – Sienna Miller.
OK, I have to take this with a grain of salt because isn’t Sienna the one who was literally screwed over when Jude Law cheated on her with the fugly nanny? Isn’t she kind of giving in to the whole incident by suddenly saying, “nah, what Jude did was totally understandable.” Does she think that by saying this, she’s not coming across like the victim? Because it seems a bit like she’s saving face by pretending that what Jude did to her was OK.
Otherwise, lets look at her pont of view. It is valid. My religious beliefs have me believe that we are meant to be with just one person at a time…but putting that aside (and well polygamy is splashed all over the Bible) we are animals. That said, it is our humanity that reaches above being just an animal. We have morals and beliefs and self-control, while animals do not.
We also feel love and attachment, and yes, jealousy. I don’t believe polygamy can work unless there is an absence of these things.
Like everything, monogamy is a personal choice. If people truly can appreciate variety by having many partners and are able to emotionally detach from the situation, then all the power to them.
As for an overrated virtue, I completely disagree…if anything being monogamous has become an underrated virtue, especially with this trend for polygamy on the rise.
Other than that, I hope “we are fucking animals” wasn’t mean to be taking literally…strange stuff goes on in them Hollywood Hills.
Finally we have our fourth quote:
"I wouldn't say I'm a serial monogamist, either. I mean, I went through periods of time when I was, ah, single. But when I'm in a relationship, I'm in a relationship. I do think on some basic level we are animals, and by instinct we kind of breed accordingly. But as much as I believe that, I work really hard when I'm in a relationship to make it work in a monogamous way." - Scarlett Johansson.
I think good ol' Scarl has summed up what a lot of women think. Sometimes it can be hard to ignore the adage "Variety is the spice of life" but when it comes down to it monogamy is more than possible for anyone who wants it.
While polygamy may be the new phase of "sexual empowerment" I think a lot of people who have jumped on this bandwagon have to ask themselves if it's a look they are truly comfortable with or are they wearing it just for the sake of fitting in.
So…why are you - or aren't you - monogamous?
